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After thinking about it for a quite a while, I finally did it. Last night I went to see a hypnotherapist.
I decided to go mainly because of the panic attack I experienced that night in Sitges which was followed about 10 days ago by a minor one in Edinburgh.
I am sure that the panic attacks are just the tip of the iceberg floating around in my subconscious mind!
I looked for a gay friendly therapist as I feel I need to be comfortable talking about all aspects of my life (yes, sex too!), and arranged for a free initial consultation.
I felt at ease with him from the very beginning (he reminded me slightly of two lovely people I know:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
arktos62 and our dearest friend David) and managed to answer questions and talk for almost half an hour.
(When he asked me to describe myself using 3 adjectives, I picked: reliable, quiet and eclectic. I probably picked the last one because I needed something a bit more positive and exciting!)
I was happy to carry on with the first session straight away.
He then questioned me about our home, the colour of the front door, the position of the letter box and asked me about the colour of my shoes and my socks. At this point I was instructed to sit with my head still and keep my eyes on his raised hand. He asked me to rate the panic attack in Sitges on a scale from 1 to 10 and, as I followed with my eyes his hand moving slowly, asked me twice again.
I was really surprised the the feeling of angst I had was dimishing every time and I went from 10 to 6 to 4 and the last time I was thinking about the lovely beach in Sitges instead than the dark and suffocating apartment room.
I assumed that he was going to hypnotise me then (as I was almost there: the eye fixation method always works for me) but we talked a little bit more and then I moved to an armchair with leg support.
I was asked to share a happy memory, a time when I felt confident and good about myself, and think of colour associated with this feeling and a place in my body.
Then it was time for me to enter a deep state of relaxation. It worked as I felt I was unable and unwilling to move any limb, and my arms and legs felt as if they were almost weightless. I could hear everything he was saying... it was a lovely confidence boosting talk and he provided also a method to nip in the bud any future panic attack by connecting to that warm feeling that stemmed from my happy memory.
When I was asked to open my eyes I was surprised that about 30 minutes have gone by.
Next step, he taught me his self-hypnosis method and I tried it before leaving.
I am looking forward to next week's session. (The only worry I have is financial!)
I decided to go mainly because of the panic attack I experienced that night in Sitges which was followed about 10 days ago by a minor one in Edinburgh.
I am sure that the panic attacks are just the tip of the iceberg floating around in my subconscious mind!
I looked for a gay friendly therapist as I feel I need to be comfortable talking about all aspects of my life (yes, sex too!), and arranged for a free initial consultation.
I felt at ease with him from the very beginning (he reminded me slightly of two lovely people I know:
arktos62 and our dearest friend David) and managed to answer questions and talk for almost half an hour.(When he asked me to describe myself using 3 adjectives, I picked: reliable, quiet and eclectic. I probably picked the last one because I needed something a bit more positive and exciting!)
I was happy to carry on with the first session straight away.
He then questioned me about our home, the colour of the front door, the position of the letter box and asked me about the colour of my shoes and my socks. At this point I was instructed to sit with my head still and keep my eyes on his raised hand. He asked me to rate the panic attack in Sitges on a scale from 1 to 10 and, as I followed with my eyes his hand moving slowly, asked me twice again.
I was really surprised the the feeling of angst I had was dimishing every time and I went from 10 to 6 to 4 and the last time I was thinking about the lovely beach in Sitges instead than the dark and suffocating apartment room.
I assumed that he was going to hypnotise me then (as I was almost there: the eye fixation method always works for me) but we talked a little bit more and then I moved to an armchair with leg support.
I was asked to share a happy memory, a time when I felt confident and good about myself, and think of colour associated with this feeling and a place in my body.
Then it was time for me to enter a deep state of relaxation. It worked as I felt I was unable and unwilling to move any limb, and my arms and legs felt as if they were almost weightless. I could hear everything he was saying... it was a lovely confidence boosting talk and he provided also a method to nip in the bud any future panic attack by connecting to that warm feeling that stemmed from my happy memory.
When I was asked to open my eyes I was surprised that about 30 minutes have gone by.
Next step, he taught me his self-hypnosis method and I tried it before leaving.
I am looking forward to next week's session. (The only worry I have is financial!)
